Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Myspace Girl: The Internet Strikes Back!

Towards the beginning of this summer, I once again ran into a fun encounter based off of some young lady I met through the internet; more specifically through the ever popular website myspace, hence the reason she got the name "Myspace Girl". I've decided though, if I'm going to have another internet-based story, there's gonna have to be some magic to happen to have me write on it seeing I don't like repeating topics. But as we'll see with this story, it was worth another.

The start of this tale is very similar to the previous Internet Story in the 'Club. I was on Newsense's myspace page, adding the new friends galore and received a message from a young lady. She said she was new to town and looking for some friends to hang out with. I, being the natural gentleman and great host of my city, replied that that would be an excellent idea and I would let her know the next the the chaps and I throw a little shin-dig. This led to me adding her on my personal profile and us talking occasionally on the 'space and exchanging numbers. Well for those of you who don't know me well; I tend to have this problem with drunk texting in that I do it a lot and invite people over all the time. So about a week later, I had one of these infamous drunken texting spurts and hit up Myspace Girl. She responded and asked if her friend and her could come over and hang out. "Of course" I replied before finding out that I would also have to go pick them up a few blocks down the road. Now luckily, I wasn't thaaaaat drunk yet, but regardless kids, don't follow and example and even occasionally drink and drive; actually, realistically, you shouldn't probably ever follow my example. Regardless, I got in the car and drove on over, hoping they wouldn't be a total waste of my time.

I arrived at their neighborhood around 10:00 PM and was glad to see they weren't ogres. We talked and since I was already loosened up, the awkwardness of the situation was gone and we all got along right away. We got on to the topic of drinking and this led to if we did any drugs or anything too. Now I don't consider myself to be a drug person in any real sense of the form, but have tried a little for the sake of what the big fuss is about, and hence why I still just really stick with alcohol. But talk of pills came up and we decided we would all do one before joining the rest of the party when we got back to my place. (Once again, don't follow my example, pills are extremely dangerous and bad; in fact, just sit back and read to see why.) So we walk inside and go to my room immediately. Everyone outside playing beer pong so this and assumed we were having some sort of crazy threesome, which unfortunately was not the case. Instead, we came back out about 10 minutes later with a change in head. As we joined the party, everyone was confused why these two new chicks were over, which was defiantly a justified thought. As there rarely is though, no problems occurred and everyone got along fairly well, some more so than others. In fact, at one point while Myspace Girl and I were out front having a smoke, her friend and my friend had decided to go swimming leading to her getting naked. It was a fairly short swim though since the girls decided to leave.

Pushing midnight, the girls said they wanted to go home since they had to be up in the morning. Good thing I had a few more drinks right? So I drive them home and we all chill on the friend's back porch and talk for a bit. The friend went to bed and Myspace Girl gets the idea to go swimming as well. Before I give a definite answer, she is naked and getting in the water. So I remove my clothes down to the boxers and hop in. No more than a few minutes later, we begin making out and quickly giving clues that this will be advancing soon. Just before we play the infamous game of "just the tip", I remember that I don't exactly know this chick and stop us so I can go grab a condom. Quicker than a racehorse at Del Mar, I'm back in the water wrapped up and ready to go. So we start doing the nasty in her friend's pool and are going for a few minutes before one of the funniest things that could happen does.

Now I'm not sure what was the cause; whether it was the alcohol, the pills, the temperature jump from warm pool water-to cool air-to warm water, the fact I'm not a huge fan of water sex, some random cause, or a combination of any and all of these; about 5 minutes into the session, my penis completely stops working. There wasn't even a like "cool down" stage. It just died, rendering it completely useless. I tell her that I'm deeply sorry and I was just tired as balls, quite literally. She said it was fine and it was probably just from the pills seeing she had heard of that happening to her friends before. So we got out of the water and air dried off before I got dressed and ready to head home. We had a few good night kisses and I headed out the door and into my intense laughter over what had all just happened. I had just met a chick through the internet (again) and this time, slept with her in about two hours of her knowing I'm an actual person.

So there you have it. One of the most complete stories to date. It's got a little bit of everything, and a lot of random and hilarious moments. From triumphs to debacles, that's what the Stockholm Swingers' Club is all about!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Fornicator On The Roof

Well call me Barbara Streisand because a few months ago I had quite the little Clause-esque adventure. So at one of the usual party nights at my house I was chatting with a good friend of mine who I used to share carnal relations with. In this occasion, we were walking around my back yard talking when we noticed that the ladder was up on the side of my house. She said "let's go on the roof" which we did and we walked around up there looking around for a bit and I felt like being witty and showing her where "my room" was in roof form. A couple of my guy friends climbed up at that point wondering where we had gone. So we all went down and back inside to go partake in a bit more drinking.

Later, after a few of the guest had gone out to get some food, she and I wound up outside where we were just chilling again when she turned to me once we passed the ladder again and stated how we should go back up onto the roof. I being drunkenly innocent at the time agreed not thinking of anything. So we climbed up and walked towards the area above my room and after a little bit of chit-chatting we began making out. This of course usually leads to more heavy making out, followed by a running through the bases. Shortly after we're pressed against the air conditioning vent and starting to remove our bottom-half attire adding a cool breeze swirling about our genitalia. We pause for a second when we look over and see the car of boys coming back and heading inside. Realizing we still weren't spotted, we continued and were soon going at. We started in a sort of standing missionary position before switching into the standing doggy style. We continued going at it for quite some time, while I kept looking out to my right to see the entire Las Vegas Strip and really half of the town which, take it from me, is quite exciting to see during an outdoor sexcapade.

At one point, the guys come back out because they were all heading out to the strip club. While I see them walking to the car, I kind of give a slight wave goodbye, even though I knew we couldn't be seen in the dark night sky. I don't know whether it was because of the gusty conditions or more likely, the amount of alcohol I had consumed, but there was no way of me finishing. So after a good amount of time up on the rooftop, we called it quits mostly just from being tired. And to think, just when I thought there wasn't any places at home where I hadn't had sex, a whole new dimension is added, up.

In the end, I will definitely recommend the rooftop sex experience, it's quite enjoyable to be able to look out on the city around you while feeling a nice springtime breeze.